Two Autumns, Two Ways to Live

"Have you ever dreamt that you'd be living in such a beautiful place?" asked Justin on our last forest walk. And here is my honest answer.

 

When we moved out here over a dozen years ago, we both were struck by just how gorgeous this area is. When I first visited Seattle back in 2007, I could hardly believe that people just lived here, walked, drove, going out and about doing regular things in a casual manner without being in a constant state of amazement. I remember having exact the same reaction when I first visited St Petersburg, Russia many years ago: do people actually live here?! Some places on our beautiful planet strike us as not just pretty, but breathtakingly, miraculously beautiful, and even more than that - some places resonate with our inner selves so much that we both believe and disbelieve that these marvels are real and within our reach.

The exotic side of this place for me, a girl who grew up in Siberia, was first of all the fjord called Puget Sound, neatly tucked away in tall mountains, and secondly the abundantly blooming colorful trees - rhododendrons that burst into flowering every single Spring (the time of year we arrived here), hidden between tall firs, making this area look rather like a gorgeous resort than a regular city. We loved living by the sea for all these years, seeing it from our windows, and for a few years even literally feeling the waves knocking at the walls of our beach house and hearing nothing but ships, seagulls and bald eagles outside of our tiny home. All of that really felt like an impossible dream came true. The closeness of wildlife just at our doorstep, both sea and the hilly woods surrounding us, only deepened the sense of just how miraculous life really is. "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle," said Albert Einstein. And I couldn't say it better. There are only two ways, and the choice is ours. We don't have to decide once and forever. Just like with choosing an outfit, you can change it later. Choose, try it on, play with it, pay attention to how you feel, and see how you like it. The happier you feel in your outfit, the more likely you will wear it again. And again. And again. And it's no different with choosing the way of living your life.

But even though it seemed exotic, this area at the same time always felt like home to me. The landscape of the Pacific Northwest is actually surprisingly similar to my native Siberia. Now, don't get me wrong - Siberia is huge, and there are a few different climate zones there, from steppes in the south to high mountains, to taiga, to tundra up north. The city of Krasnoyarsk where I am from is hilly, with rich mixed forest, largely evergreen thanks to conifers, with mountains nearby and one of the largest rivers in the world, the Yenisey. The wiggly hilly roads, views of water, and evergreen forest around here remind me so much of my homeland. But only now when we live literally a few feet from the woods, I realized how much they make me feel at home. The open space and perspective which comes with living by the sea is precious, and we wouldn't mind to have the best of both worlds some day. The beach where we landed years ago is still within just a few minutes walk from us, so I know I can always get there and even if I don't, I realize that I don't miss seeing it on daily basis. What surprises me even more is how the closeness of forest makes me feel... as if I came back home, totally at ease, cozy and protected.

I'm wearing my waterproof raincoat (not all of them are these days) which I purchased especially for traveling to Russia a little over a year ago. I really loved the quality and color of it, it was the only coat in the store, hugely discounted and... in my size. I bought it without second guessing myself, and it's been serving me well ever since my spontaneous trip back in September 2019. I was so happy that I made this decision and was able to see my dear parents. I's a veeeeery long and tiring trip, and I was there for a few short days and came back to my family literally a day before I started working, so I didn't have time and energy to meet with many friends and extended family. But I was so incredibly happy that I made this decision and traveled there just to spend 5 or 6 days with my loved ones, and even more so now because again, who knew that only a year later we would find ourselves in these weird circumstances, not being able traveling for a long time. I didn't know any of it last Fall. I knew neither why I had this urge to visit Russia, nor why exactly it was the best time to buy a house (I don't keep up with economic or political reasons to make such decisions), all I knew was the strong inner feeling that told me: now or never - and I trusted it. However flaky it might sound to some of my practically oriented, sensible friends, I trust that the Universe provides us with signs, and if we learn to read them, we don't really need logical explanations. If you enjoy logic and analysis, more power to you. But my point is, they are not the only way to experience life, not the only way to know.

Have you met my brother yet? I bet you haven't - he doesn't take pictures of himself much, and even I don't see him too often. So here he is, my fantastic brother, original artist, visual storyteller and co-author of all my CHILDREN'S BOOKS. I've always adored and admired him, he was the best company to grow up with, and as you can see we still love playing together. I wish that more people knew just how amazing Andrei and his work are! Though I understand that some genius is not for everyone to recognize. I love this photo - I took it at the airport, right before I left, so it was a very sensitive time for all four of us, my wonderful, one of a kind, marvelous family. One Siberian artist in the gallery of another (very famous!) Siberian artist Vasily Surikov who was born in Krasnoyarsk in 1848. Both amazingly talented, each in their own way, they even share the same birthday, January 24. They are 120 years apart, but it's only a blink of an eye for history. You can learn more about Andrei Lialin HERE and Vasily Surikov HERE.

My short but sweet trip down memory lane (which this raincoat always manages to accomplish) is over, and I find myself back in America, at my other homeland, the one I love no less because here I gave a birth to my beautiful daughter and met my one true love which is another miracle. Remember the way I felt about Seattle and St Petersburg? It was the same feeling when I met Justin, only the connection was even stronger. I felt as if I knew him already, maybe centuries ago, as if I was coming home, but I didn't even know what that home was... But how likely it is for two people who feel fairly lonely and misunderstood in this world, for these two white crows to meet? Seems really unlikely, right? No wonder that from time to time I found myself asking... can it really be true? And that is the definition of a miracle to me. When something in life is very unlikely by all logical reasons, but just as you dreamt it would be, only even better. When something feels so right and so wonderful that you almost can't believe it at times, at the same time knowing that it's the only way it can be. 

So to answer Justin's question, have I ever dreamt of living in such a beautiful place, I would say yes and no. I was born and raised in a beautiful place to begin with, and ended up in a place that reminds me of home, only with a milder, friendlier climate and lovely sea breeze. But I've always as far as I remember dreamt of an amazing, unordinary life which I would share with my true soulmate. I didn't know how, when or where it would happen, I just knew that it would. And that is really all you have to know if you ask me. There are only two ways to live your life... 

On the old wooden bridge over a forest creek bubbling with icy cold water from the mountains, Justin reached out to kiss me - that's just the romantic he is, the Real Adventure Man if you remember (more of some our adventures HERE, HERE, HERE and HERE). So he reached out to me and... almost lost his balance on the tatty little bridge... Oh no! Watch out, Justin, the gully is deep, and besides, one can never be sure what's on the other side, especially this time of year!

I hope you enjoyed the story of our forest walk as much as I did writing it. I have to tell you that I've decided to make a conscious attempt to make time in a busy life and write my blog regularly again. For what it's worth, writing it makes me a happier person. So let's talk! Do let me know what are your favorite walks, and also whether you'd like to see the photos of my trip to Russia last Fall - I'll be happy to dedicate a whole post to it!