Darkest Before the Dawn

Dressing up to me, perhaps unlike many of my lovely blogging friends, is 100% a social thing. I simply don't feel the need or craving to dress up when I am at home - I find many other things that bring me joy and occupy my time. I am a bit surprised when someone tries to change my mind about it. Is there really one right way to live our lives, and everything else is wrong? I don't sign up for that philosophy. Everyone is different, so whatever works. During the pandemic (and we're in the second year by today, as it started earlier in the Washington State compared to the rest of the country, as well as many other countries), so during the pandemic there was practically no reason for me to dress up. As a large part introvert, I initially didn't suffer from the lack of social life at all. Even though I lost some of my work contracts due to closures of our libraries, I still had my students and enjoyed figuring out the new ways of teaching. But by the arrival of Winter, I started missing our family outings and cultural events which used to inspire my creating of outfits and having photo shoots with Justin. 

Actually, we both have missed it - that's what we realized when it started snowing in mid-February which gave a creative sparkle to me and a chance for Justin to use his new camera. Snow is a rare visitor here by the shore of Puget Sound, we don't get it every year, and typically it only lasts for a few hours, then melts. This year, we got a significant amount of snow, especially up in the mountains, and it stayed by the shore for a couple of days. It was a lovely, beautiful and quiet weekend. No car noise, just voices of people playing in the snow outside our dwelling. Snow as a social event - how do you like that? 

The soft pink tulips which Anya received from her sweet friend gave me the idea of this photo shoot. Snow and flowers, and the pretty prairie dress that I bought at Target last year. In fact, I bought a couple of them in different colors, but this proved to be my favorite. I am perfectly happy to wear comfy so-called athleisure clothes at home, a-la PJs, only a little more socially acceptable if a postman stops by or I decide to take a walk in the neighborhood. But I make an exception to these dresses - they are not only pretty and feminine, and dressy enough to wear outside or for my Zoom lessons, but unbelievably comfortable for a simple homey lifestyle. I dressed my outfit up with colorful Nordic socks (Justin bought us a ton of them for every outfit and occasion), hat and vintage jewelry with amber. The earrings are gorgeous, though heavy, so pretty much for wearing a brief time only, such as a photo shoot.

The snow melted, and we are welcoming the first signs of Spring - plants reawakening in my little garden, birds chirping cheerfully, there is more sunlight in the day and warmth in the atmosphere. And just like Mother Nature, I am also wakening from the long hibernation caused not only by Winter, but the sadness of social and political life in my home country. It was a tough Winter for everyone, and I am glad it's almost over. As a highly sensitive person, I can empathize with those whom the social and political turmoil hit the hardest during this time. It is difficult to both stay tuned with what is going on with the world and at the same time turn off our anxious thoughts, and as a result we deal with restlessness that is constantly in the background. At some point my sleep schedule became so chaotic that I was lacking energy and often feeling down which of course interfered with my daily tasks. I knew I needed a change, and I also knew that it wasn't going to happen quickly... But I think I am on the other side by now. With the healthy dose of vitamins and gradual change of my sleep routine, I am feeling much more energetic and, as always in Spring, not just hopeful, but optimistic. 

Dear reader, 

If you are going through a difficult period yourself, you have my sympathy. Hang in there and remind yourself that it's always darkest before the dawn. And if you'd like to talk it over with someone, I am starting this conversation here on my blog. I am here not to judge you or give you sound advice. I am here to listen and to share. I believe with my whole heart that the only good advice always comes from within. Much like with fashion and style, there is no right or wrong way to live our life. Each of us is unique, and only we can feel our way out of darkness and fall in love with life once again. 

Dress and cardigan - Target (2020)

Amber/silver jewelry, birch bark pendant - vintage from Russia

A little heart-shaped white rock - I found by my feet during the photo shoot

Photos by Justin