Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Shaman


Sometimes in the middle of Summer I start terribly missing Fall. I look at Fall pictures, I write and read something Autumn-ish, and I notice that very often we get cool days right after my innocent little "shamanism"... And now I miss Spring. I notice that days are getting longer - it's not dark yet at 6 PM these days, and not so long ago it was dark right after 4 PM. I notice that birds sing more cheerfully and first flowers bloom on bushes, in pots and in the ground...

We did this photo shoot almost a year ago, in April of 2013. For the first time in my life, I posted my outfit photos in an online style community.





I wanted to see the reaction of "the general public" on a purposeful photo shoot of a woman of a certain age, with a certain amount of extra pounds, who obviously in her approach to dressing does not follow a certain "standard" that modern fashion offers us all. At least at that point and in that particular community, there were not many women like that. The majority were very young, in a very good shape, and very trendy. I will admit - I expected a lot of criticism. 


I have no idea why I chose to wear this particular outfit that day. It was born spontaneously, just like most, if not all of my outfits are. The location was also picked spontaneously - and yet, it happened to be just perfect. (The chameleon agrees! :) )



To my huge surprise, the feedback was pretty positive in many respects. Most of all, people commented on my choice of colors. In a world where bright colors are used mostly in small doses, such a reaction tells you something, doesn't it? I think a lot of people are actually craving vibrant colors, but feel way too timid to use them in a free way. They wonder, "What would the fashion authorities say?" (by "Authorities" I do not mean truly talented artists and designers - but rather "the neighbors", "my online buddies" ... one's day to day authorities ... who in turn listen to their "authorities"... who in turn listen to theirs... and so on...) 



There were a lot of comments about my choice of shoes too. I mentioned it in this post, where I also wear these same shoes. I was glad to read suggestions, and I actually found a pair of Toms which I really like (I wear them with the same pants here). There were some other pretty cool ideas - I knew that some of them wouldn't occur to me, and I was sincerely thankful for them. We have a saying in Russian, Одна голова хорошо, а две - лучше ("One head is good, but two are even better"). I think it works especially well when all heads involved are pretty open-minded... and even better if they are also free-spirited.


I am not going to mention here any of the negative comments I received (I suspect that the moderator, who was focused on civilized and positive communication, deleted the ugliest ones before I had a chance to read them - and I was grateful for that, wise girl!) So what if my hair is not in a perfect order here? Life is not perfect, and it is not meant to be. Life is windy, rainy, snowy, slippery and annoyingly hot at times. Life is ever changing, ever flowing, ever moving process. Life is a process of creation in so many different ways which sometimes are hidden from us. As you consider "What outfit to wear today?", should you copy that popular chic blogger with whatever you can get from your own wardrobe? Should you go for a shopping spree to buy all the things you see on all these cool girls online? Should you read all the right fashion guides, and learn all the right trendy terminology? Or maybe just look into yourself and find what is so special and unique about you


Do you know why I love being this age? Because I finally really know who I am. And no criticism or lack of understanding will ever, ever change it.

I am Natalia, or Natasha. I am 40 years old - will be 41 this Spring. I was born in Russia, and I was always madly in love with my language, almost mesmerized by it. I live in America for about 12 years - it feels at times like I got at least two lifetimes in one. I gave a birth to a beautiful girl. I met my true love, and together we created a beautiful family. We also created a much needed warm, welcoming, heartfelt Russian speaking community in the area where such did not exist. I write stories, they inspire people. I am vulnerable. I make mistakes. I am a dreamer - romantic, idealistic and terribly impractical. And yet whatever I dream of, becomes reality. I believe in love, and I believe in miracles. And I also believe that everyone, each of us without any exception, is absolutely unique and amazing at the core. And that is where I prefer to look - at the core. Very often, it means that I see things which others don't. Very often, it feels like I speak a foreign language which others don't. Very often, it feels lonely to be me. But at the same time, I like to be me! It is so fun to be me! And I wouldn't want it any other way. 

I really wish more people would like to be themselves - truly be themselves. And I wish more people would look at the core rather than at the "authorities". What difference does it make what color is fashionable this season? The color that matters is the one that resonates with the very center of you this very moment! Stop for a moment and imagine... only imagine what a groovy world we all would create then!

Linen tunic and cotton pants - Bryn Walker. Shoes - Pikolinos. Felt brooch and woven bracelet - made by my daughter (then 10 y.o.) Ring and bangles - various places. Purse - I can't remember. Scarf - batik from Russia

Location: University Village, Seattle

12 comments:

  1. What lovely photos, Natalia. You look beautiful, and yes, your choice of colours is inspired. I don't know where you posted these pictures a year ago, and I am glad that most of the feedback was encouraging, but it never ceases to amaze me that some people can be negative and critical. Why would anyone do that? The old adage, "if you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" should apply. None of us are perfect, are we? But we take our courage in both hands and put ourselves out there, and we all deserve praise and respect for that.
    Yes, it's good to be happy with who we are. Flawed and prone to mistakes, maybe, but true to ourselves. I often feel out of step with the people I know, I don't seem to see things the same way as most of them, but blogging gives me another set of quirky souls to connect with, and I am grateful for that.
    So yes, keep dreaming and writing and seeing things in your own way and being true to your own heart and wearing whatever colours you like! xxxx

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    1. My dear sweet Curtise, I am going to take your beautiful words and carry them with me ALL DAY LONG! You understand! Yes, that is exactly it - critics are usually those who don't have yet courage to put themselves "out there" and do something uniquely theirs "out there". And maybe it is just as simple as that - their protection from mistakes, from ridiculing feedback, from flaws... protection from being human and live life genuinely... I don't know about English culture, but in my native culture this sort of thing is very very strong still! People call it "constructive criticism". Makes no sense to me. It is like saying "positive negativism" :)) But I want to be honest - I just want to be honest with myself. That includes openness with others. It is all connected! I know that you know it! And I am happy that we found each other "out there"! :)

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  2. Absolutely just what I needed to see this afternoon. Did you get snow too?

    You know me well enough...I adore these colours, and on you, they look fabulous! I'm glad you posted them to your blog!

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    1. What sort of shaman would I be if we get snow today? :) No snow, it is lovely and sunny here. Although, I hear about snow in mountains. I suppose you are much closer to mountains, Sue! I haven't been to Vancouver yet, so I am not very familiar with your geography... We are a couple of hours away from mountains (both of them)...

      Thank you so much for your compliments! It is always so nice to hear!!

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  3. You are a work of art, the colour ensemble and the beautiful tulips behind you. Your skin is absolutely flawless and you can tell in your eyes that the person behind the camera is the love of your life. xxxx

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    1. Thank you so much, dear beautiful Vix! All your kind words warm my heart, and I will keep them in there for the longest time!! :)

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  4. I've learned so much from women who blog, about wearing color and fun combinations and creating their own ideas of fashion. Then I look around me, in my ordinary town, and I wish all those women were here! Sometimes it is hard to stand out, even a little. But it's way more fun than being boring!

    I saw a saying on Facebook - They laughed at me because I was different. I laughed at them because they were all the same!

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    1. What an insightful comment, Val! I definitely agree with you, there is truth to that saying (I had to smile when I read it). I do understand people's need to fit in though - we all want to be accepted, to be loved! And from that point, it's OK. Except that it is a bit boring. :)

      I often think the same thoughts as you do (I wonder how many of us do that?). I sometimes imagine the whole huge restaurant filled with dressed up, beautiful, confident, fun and very creative bloggers! :))) We must do it some time - a world bloggers meeting!!!

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  5. I am so truly glad that I found your blog. youa re a truly exquisite woman with a writers soul and depth!
    You deserve the admiration of your readers and followers, and certainly have mine. I love this soft outfit on you; the print and drape of the scarf and the flowers that insist on blooming wherever you stand!
    XX, Elle
    http://mydailycostume.com/

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    1. My dear beautiful friend, I am so touched by your warm and very poetic words! Thank you so very much for your kindness! I always say - when you see something so amazing in someone else, that means that you are amazing yourself!:)

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  6. Thanks for your reply to Shawna's post on this thing called lagen look. I just discovered the term last month on Pinterest, and a bit of a guide is very helpful. I also checked out Bryn Walker, and it was exciting to see there's a store in Seattle, where you shop. I'll be stopping by to try on some things when I'm next in town. I live on Whidbey Island, and don't get over as often as I like any more. We have a few thrift shops here, but nowhere for me to shop otherwise.
    Then I spent some time looking at your clothing blog. I love your boldness in dressing. I don't work anymore, and few people ever see me, so I don't spend much time on my wardrobe, but I like the layering look, and not too fitted for my curves.
    I've 'outgrown' the patterns from my youth, so I ended up buying a few Vogue patterns that I could hopefully make an ensemble from, using linen. It's been over 24 years since I've made clothes for myself, and it's a thrill that there's style for crones, and patterns in my size. I've ordered some gauze, light-weight, and medium weight for some shifts with a slip underneath, and perhaps a pinafore and an asymmetrical tank top. When I'm finished moving at the end of May, I'll get to work. I so enjoy your wardrobe for inspiration! That purple with the lime green makes me so happy!

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    1. Thank you so much for your comment, you really touched me! I went over to see your blog, but cannot see any entry. Hope you'll blog, maybe in the future? I have not been to Whidbey Island yet, but I hear of its beauty. We are quite lucky to have many shopping options here in the greater Seattle area. I also love shopping at thrift shops (consignment too). And then, there is Internet - lots of options are available these days. I used to make my own clothes when I was younger too, but have not made any in 14 years or so. But I think I'll probably miss it some day enough to get into sewing again. It's so rewarding, isn't it? Thank you so much for your kind words about my wardrobe - I practically rebuilt it in the last two years. Good luck with your moving and sewing!

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