Reflections

I have just realized that the last post was my 40th post. I am 40 years old, and this is my new blog (not the first blog I've ever written, but the first one in English and the first one about style, clothes and all that stuff), and I have written 40 blog posts in short 3 month (I started in early September 2013). That in itself calls for celebration. But I started thinking what this blog actually added to my life and my understanding of myself. It is the very reason I started it 3 months ago (and started researching about 5 months ago). I have started this blog to get to know me better. And I did, in a few different ways. Am I done? Far from it!

You see, I am not really about fashion or trends. I am about passion and fun personalities. Give me interesting personalities, and I will read them as good books - no matter what they do, it can be fashion or anything else really. I just enjoy learning about people, getting to know them intimately. I think our personal style is just one way to express who we are. Just one! of many, many different ways with which we can choose to be creative. I got to know so many wonderful women through blogging. I mean, I don't really personally know them. But I feel like I know them.

And what about myself? What do I see in myself looking at these pictures? (Let's be honest - the majority of page hits are probably here by myself since I really enjoy going through my blog posts and learning what it is to be me at this point of life.)

First of all, and it is important, it is just fun! It's pure joy to me to throw an outfit together and take off with Justin to one of our favorite places (or to discover a new one) and take photographs. He is a photographer, my beloved one, and it is actually exactly how we met years ago - when he took a photo of me at a playful venue where I was working at that time. So at our little photo-shoots, he enjoys getting use of his photographer's muscles while I love being his model. It works perfectly for us. I would probably not do it with anybody else.

Secondly, I wanted to become an elegant good looking me once again. I realized that if I didn't move to the US from Russia all these years ago, I would probably still continue with the classical feminine style, a bit uptight and a bit conservative, but very pleasing and tasteful, which I had when I was in my 20s. In some ways, I am sure that is what I am doing now - remembering my old style. To my huge surprise, many tricks still work on me! Even though I've changed so much. How? You name it! For instance, I remember for sure that in this particular place there was my waist. It was there even 10 years ago. Where did it go?! When did it go?! I can't remember! Even so, I found that all the advises for an hourglass body type still work on me. I read recently that a 20 year old "hourglass" most likely will become a 50 year old "apple". I think that that's where I am going. I  don't enjoy it. It was so much easier to be a slender classical hourglass - everything fitted me so well. But I am where I am. I am not crazy about it, but I still like myself.

Summer 1999

And that is what I see in these pictures which Justin has been so faithfully taking of me over last few months. I see a woman who is confident and who likes herself, definitely. I see a woman who can put together an outfit thoughtfully and tastefully enough. This woman does not really follow trends, but she didn't even when she was 20 (I know - I was there!). I see that she looks good in fitted clothes (baggy clothes which I thought supposed to cover my extra pounds, I found, do just that - cover me, including the good bits, while making me look baggy) and bright colors - lots of gold, green and red, warm earthy tones, contrasts, bold prints. Animal prints? Yes, please - the more the merrier! Add layers - she definitely loves layers. And comfy shoes - comfy because she has (and always had) wide feet, and not willing to suffer because of style anymore. But they still should look interesting and be "her", those comfy shoes. No compromises there either. 

I realized that classical pencil skirts and fitted jackets look probably best on me. Hey, that's not such a bad news - think of all the layering I can do with it! As to pants... They need to be special. Color? Texture? Shape? All of it? So much to explore yet. I almost don't wear jeans these days - I guess I wore them way too often during the past few years. Gosh, those years were tough. I was working very hard volunteering my time, energy and talents to a few different organizations, and the peak of it all - creating my own dream, a community (I haven't realized what exactly I was doing while I was doing it). Then at some point I looked in the mirror and saw an exhausted woman who almost forgot that she was a woman... who actually enjoyed looking good and stylish before...

So that is when I started this blog. To learn how to dress at this point of my life journey and to get to know me intimately once again. And I have been getting to know me. I see a confident woman who knows what she likes and is not afraid to try something new. That's all good in itself. A few acquaintances noticed and complimented the way I look these days. Some even asked me what have I done - lost weight? went to a fancy vacation? That's all nice to hear. I haven't thought about it when I started this journey, but hey - who is  to complain about such a nice little bonus as sincere compliments? 

But what I don't see yet, what these pictures don't reflect back at me yet - an artistic side of me, a fun side, the one I was always good at on way too many levels (writing would be just one of them). My grandma used to say, "Natasha is the most interesting of all my grandchildren" - and she had a bunch! This side of me is hidden so far. And I see it, thanks to all the pictures. And without it, I can't really say that I've got an individual style. Not just yet.

Blogging is an enormous tool to get to know yourself. I learn as I go. Am I there yet? Far from it!