Tuesday, October 27, 2020

Two Autumns, Two Ways to Live


"Have you ever dreamt that you'd be living in such a beautiful place?" asked Justin on our last forest walk. And here is my honest answer.

 





When we moved out here over a dozen years ago, we both were struck by just how gorgeous this area is. When I first visited Seattle back in 2007, I could hardly believe that people just lived here, walked, drove, going out and about doing regular things in a casual manner without being in a constant state of amazement. I remember having exact the same reaction when I first visited St Petersburg, Russia many years ago: do people actually live here?! Some places on our beautiful planet strike us as not just pretty, but breathtakingly, miraculously beautiful, and even more than that - some places resonate with our inner selves so much that we both believe and disbelieve that these marvels are real and within our reach.







The exotic side of this place for me, a girl who grew up in Siberia, was first of all the fjord called Puget Sound, neatly tucked away in tall mountains, and secondly the abundantly blooming colorful trees - rhododendrons that burst into flowering every single Spring (the time of year we arrived here), hidden between tall firs, making this area look rather like a gorgeous resort than a regular city. We loved living by the sea for all these years, seeing it from our windows, and for a few years even literally feeling the waves knocking at the walls of our beach house and hearing nothing but ships, seagulls and bald eagles outside of our tiny home. All of that really felt like an impossible dream came true. The closeness of wildlife just at our doorstep, both sea and the hilly woods surrounding us, only deepened the sense of just how miraculous life really is. "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle," said Albert Einstein. And I couldn't say it better. There are only two ways, and the choice is ours. We don't have to decide once and forever. Just like with choosing an outfit, you can change it later. Choose, try it on, play with it, pay attention to how you feel, and see how you like it. The happier you feel in your outfit, the more likely you will wear it again. And again. And again. And it's no different with choosing the way of living your life.





But even though it seemed exotic, this area at the same time always felt like home to me. The landscape of the Pacific Northwest is actually surprisingly similar to my native Siberia. Now, don't get me wrong - Siberia is huge, and there are a few different climate zones there, from steppes in the south to high mountains, to taiga, to tundra up north. The city of Krasnoyarsk where I am from is hilly, with rich mixed forest, largely evergreen thanks to conifers, with mountains nearby and one of the largest rivers in the world, the Yenisey. The wiggly hilly roads, views of water, and evergreen forest around here remind me so much of my homeland. But only now when we live literally a few feet from the woods, I realized how much they make me feel at home. The open space and perspective which comes with living by the sea is precious, and we wouldn't mind to have the best of both worlds some day. The beach where we landed years ago is still within just a few minutes walk from us, so I know I can always get there and even if I don't, I realize that I don't miss seeing it on daily basis. What surprises me even more is how the closeness of forest makes me feel... as if I came back home, totally at ease, cozy and protected.



I'm wearing my waterproof raincoat (not all of them are these days) which I purchased especially for traveling to Russia a little over a year ago. I really loved the quality and color of it, it was the only coat in the store, hugely discounted and... in my size. I bought it without second guessing myself, and it's been serving me well ever since my spontaneous trip back in September 2019. I was so happy that I made this decision and was able to see my dear parents. I's a veeeeery long and tiring trip, and I was there for a few short days and came back to my family literally a day before I started working, so I didn't have time and energy to meet with many friends and extended family. But I was so incredibly happy that I made this decision and traveled there just to spend 5 or 6 days with my loved ones, and even more so now because again, who knew that only a year later we would find ourselves in these weird circumstances, not being able traveling for a long time. I didn't know any of it last Fall. I knew neither why I had this urge to visit Russia, nor why exactly it was the best time to buy a house (I don't keep up with economic or political reasons to make such decisions), all I knew was the strong inner feeling that told me: now or never - and I trusted it. However flaky it might sound to some of my practically oriented, sensible friends, I trust that the Universe provides us with signs, and if we learn to read them, we don't really need logical explanations. If you enjoy logic and analysis, more power to you. But my point is, they are not the only way to experience life, not the only way to know.







Have you met my brother yet? I bet you haven't - he doesn't take pictures of himself much, and even I don't see him too often. So here he is, my fantastic brother, original artist, visual storyteller and co-author of all my CHILDREN'S BOOKS. I've always adored and admired him, he was the best company to grow up with, and as you can see we still love playing together. I wish that more people knew just how amazing Andrei and his work are! Though I understand that some genius is not for everyone to recognize. I love this photo - I took it at the airport, right before I left, so it was a very sensitive time for all four of us, my wonderful, one of a kind, marvelous family. One Siberian artist in the gallery of another (very famous!) Siberian artist Vasily Surikov who was born in Krasnoyarsk in 1848. Both amazingly talented, each in their own way, they even share the same birthday, January 24. They are 120 years apart, but it's only a blink of an eye for history. You can learn more about Andrei Lialin HERE and Vasily Surikov HERE.



My short but sweet trip down memory lane (which this raincoat always manages to accomplish) is over, and I find myself back in America, at my other homeland, the one I love no less because here I gave a birth to my beautiful daughter and met my one true love which is another miracle. Remember the way I felt about Seattle and St Petersburg? It was the same feeling when I met Justin, only the connection was even stronger. I felt as if I knew him already, maybe centuries ago, as if I was coming home, but I didn't even know what that home was... But how likely it is for two people who feel fairly lonely and misunderstood in this world, for these two white crows to meet? Seems really unlikely, right? No wonder that from time to time I found myself asking... can it really be true? And that is the definition of a miracle to me. When something in life is very unlikely by all logical reasons, but just as you dreamt it would be, only even better. When something feels so right and so wonderful that you almost can't believe it at times, at the same time knowing that it's the only way it can be. 



So to answer Justin's question, have I ever dreamt of living in such a beautiful place, I would say yes and no. I was born and raised in a beautiful place to begin with, and ended up in a place that reminds me of home, only with a milder, friendlier climate and lovely sea breeze. But I've always as far as I remember dreamt of an amazing, unordinary life which I would share with my true soulmate. I didn't know how, when or where it would happen, I just knew that it would. And that is really all you have to know if you ask me. There are only two ways to live your life... 


On the old wooden bridge over a forest creek bubbling with icy cold water from the mountains, Justin reached out to kiss me - that's just the romantic he is, the Real Adventure Man if you remember (more of some our adventures HEREHEREHERE and HERE). So he reached out to me and... almost lost his balance on the tatty little bridge... Oh no! Watch out, Justin, the gully is deep, and besides, one can never be sure what's on the other side, especially this time of year!


I hope you enjoyed the story of our forest walk as much as I did writing it. I have to tell you that I've decided to make a conscious attempt to make time in a busy life and write my blog regularly again. For what it's worth, writing it makes me a happier person. So let's talk! Do let me know what are your favorite walks, and also whether you'd like to see the photos of my trip to Russia last Fall - I'll be happy to dedicate a whole post to it!


27 comments:

  1. What a sweet trip to share with all of us. Home is in your heart-both places.

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    1. Thank you, dear Sam! You said it so well - home is where our heart is, and for an immigrant it will always be in at least two places. :)
      Much love!

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  2. What a wonderfully uplifting and heartwarming piece of writing, Natalia. xxx

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    1. Thank you so much for saying so, dear Vix! You warmed my heart!
      Much love!

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  3. wonderful post!!!
    and justin is so sweet reaching out for you and almost falling from the bridge!
    could be the BW too btw..... ;-D
    i had this familiar and amazed feeling when i visited venice - strange enough it had to be venice for me, no less ;-D
    the area i live since 11 years is actually the land i grew up in - almost - but near enough to visit on a regular basis for hikes or walks even as a child. but i´m still in wonder how fairy tale like some corners are!!
    love all your photos of this beautiful nature!!
    xxxx

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    1. Dear Beate, I am so happy that this posts resonated with you - I was thinking of you and your forest posts, of course, while writing it. I know just how much love and appreciation you have for your gorgeous region - and for the whole planet! You found your soulmate and share your beautiful home and life together, what can be better than that?

      I'm not surprised about Venice - you are a fancy girl! :) St Petersburg is commonly known as Northern Venice, by the way, for all the rivers and channels, and for the beautiful classic architecture of course (some architects were Italians). But from what I know about Venice, they are two very different cities too. I'd love to visit some day.

      Lots of love to you, my friend!

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  4. Oh yes I enjoyed so much Natalia. That's a wonderful story about love and life. ❤️ So good you traveled to Russia last year to visite your family.
    I send much love to you, Tina

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    1. Thank you, my dear Tina! I love how you've said it - a story about love and life indeed!
      Much love to you, dear friend!

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  5. It's so lovely to have you back in blogland on a more regular basis, Natalia! You are indeed living in a most beautiful place, and that you are appreciating its beauty to the full. Lots of people tend not to notice their surroundings as time passes, but I'm in favour of never losing that sense of awe and wonder. How simply wonderful that you were able to visit your family last year, even if it was only for a handful of days. And I love it that your raincoat - which almost chose you rather than the other way around - will always trigger that particular trip down memory lane, as will the sight, sound and scent of your beloved woods. And if your and Justin's love story doesn't prove that fairy tales and miracles do exist and do happen ... simply magical! xxx

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    1. Thank you so much, dear sweet Ann! Oh how I missed hearing from you, my wonderful friends - the best that blogging brought to my life! I like what you've said about not loosing the sense of awe and wonder. You've definitely never lost it - your blog is a beautiful expression of the way you feel about your home and all the places that you and Jos visit.

      Lots of love!

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  6. Piękny jesienny spacer:))))Pozdrawiam serdecznie i zdrowia życzę:)))

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  7. Wow. This is so similar to me. I immigrated to Vancouver from Massachusetts when I was six years old. I remember being down at the ocean, an inlet too, looking up at the mountains, thinking, "I can't believe I get to stay here!" I felt like the luckiest person alive. I'm 50, and I still feel that way about Vancouver, which, as you know, is very similar to Seattle.

    I can also really relate to your feelings about your husband. I met Beau when I was 41, not having planned marriage in my life. With him too, I felt this sense of home-coming, and of great good fortune: This gentle, kind man was with me?! It was too lucky!

    Just this year, I've found a long lost cousin in ... St. Petersburg. Yup. I'm learning about my Jewish family's deep roots not only in Lithuania, but also in Russia itself. In fact, one branch of my family were photographers to the Czar! So it's interesting to read what you have to say about a land that is exotic to me, but is home to some of my family.

    http://www.sublimemercies.com/

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    1. So happy to know that it resonated with you on so many levels, dear Charlotte! And WOW, who knew you have relatives in Russia too, that's amazing! St Petersburg is gorgeous, and the cloudy skies would remind you very much of Vancouver. I hope you will have a chance to visit some day. I miss it!

      Lots of love!

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  8. woww, I enjoy so much your posts!, your writting, your evocative words and attitude, so inspiring!. Love to read about your walks, the forest, the places that makes you feel you're at home but also living a dream!.
    Totally agree that some places resonate with us. I've been always in love with the region where we live now. And destiny conspired to bring me here! (well, I also put some effort into it!)
    Thank you for taking some time to write your blog, dear Natalia!
    besos

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    1. I'm so happy to hear from you, Monica! I am glad that my posts resonate with you, and I fully believe in taking inspired actions which are in harmony with the way we feel!

      Lots of love!

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  9. Your posts really resonates with me Natalia. I think that with some places we just establish a kind of a spiritual connection. It is something that can be hard to explain. I find that beauty inspires me so beautiful places- and especially nature as such- can be so moving! I also came across a number of places where I was simply amazed by the beauty of that place. It can be a city, a village or a natural area of some kind. I know that feeling when you're left speechless by a beauty of some place!
    I think forests can be very magical places. I'm happy you live so close to one of them and that you can find beauty in it whenever you feel like it. :)
    I think I already 'met' your bother Andrei, not on the blog, so it must have been on one our your sites, maybe your books' site? How interesting he shares a birthday with another talented artist. I do love his art!
    Have a nice day dear!

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    1. So well said, dear Ivana - a spiritual connection, that's exactly right!

      I think you might have seen an old photo of my brother on his art site, there is a link to it on chickenleghouse.com (thought they say that all Google sites will be removed, if I remember correctly, so we will have to redo it I guess).

      Thank you so much for your wonderful comment. It moves me to know that my words resonate with you, it inspires me to post more often. :)
      Much love!

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    2. Yes, that must have been it, a picture on his art side. I'm happy to hear you're inspired to post more often. I sometimes feel like posting often and sometimes I feel I need a break lest blogging becomes a routine - and I don't want it to be a routine. We just have to listen to our instincts in this sense I think.
      I'm also amazed at how good you are at following your intuition. It's great that you were able to sense that the time was right for visiting your parents- if you waited, who knows for how long you wouldn't be able to see them. It must be difficult now, not being able to go there when you want, but it would have been even more difficult if you didn't see the opportunity to see them back then. Intuition is a fascinating topic. I think that sometimes we can get better at it with time because we learn to trust ourselves more.

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    3. I completely agree with you, Ivana! On both topics, blogging not becoming a routine, and trusting ourselves (God, Universe, you name it) more. :)

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  10. Ein wunderschöner Waldspaziergang mit schönen " Randgeschichten " in einer sehr warmherzigen Sprache.
    Wir haben Freunde in Norddeutschland, die von Novokuznetsk kamen und jetzt an der Nordsee leben.
    Leider gibt es dort kaum Wald. Und ich glaube auch, dass sie den trockenen, sibirischen Winter vermissen und auch den " richtigen " Sommer.
    Mich hat es immer in eine Region gezogen, wo Wald in der Nähe war. Das hat sicher mit meiner Herkunft zu tun. Aber Berge und Meer bieten beide offenen Raum und Perspektive. Weite und Himmel.
    Danke für alle Gedanken.
    Herzlichst, Angela

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    1. Danke schön, liebe Angela!
      (Unfortunately, that is about all I can say in German these days, so the rest will be in English.) Thank you so much for your kind words! Surprisingly enough, the place where I am from has much higher humidity than Seattle! It actually is pretty dry here, for my standards. But Siberia is so big, and it really has different climates and microclimates. I also have friends from other parts of Siberia where it's quite dry, and they feel it is humid here (what??? :))). It's all relative I guess.
      I am glad that we share the love of forest!
      Much love!

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  11. ... in der Nähe ist . nicht Krieg ! weiß nicht warum der PC das geschrieben hat...

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  12. I am so pleased you plan to blog again , I have missed you and your always wonderful writing. The photos of the forest and its funghi are stunning, they do remind me of some here too.
    I am the same , intuition plays a big part in my life , not always with rhyme or reason at the time.A touching tribute to the love you and Jason share, true soulmates.
    All the best, Natalia. xx
    P.S. I would love to see a post on your trip to see your parents.

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    1. Thank you for your compliment to my writing, dearest Jill, you inspire me to write more! I am glad (and not surprised) to hear that you are a very intuitive person yourself. Intuition is a unique guidance tool that we have, and our life is given us to discover that.
      I will be happy to dedicate a post to my trip to visit my parents, glad you said so!
      I've missed you too! Much love, my dear!

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  13. Thank you for continuing your blogging, I missed it. It is good to feel to be where you belong...
    Best wishes, Juliane

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